I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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