Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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