i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
