You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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