my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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