i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
