I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They are going to name an STD after you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
