I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
