I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
that is very illegal...i love you.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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