I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
