So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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