I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
