you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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