i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
