oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
