shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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