Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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