no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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