Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
