By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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