If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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