Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
