worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I am naked and annoyed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
