random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
