we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
