You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
