the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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