He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
