I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
