i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
