When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
