you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
