so explain again why im purple
no
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
