I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
