i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you had me at cake vodka
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
