considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
