thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
