I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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