no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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