Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just invented taco cereal.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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