Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
