I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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