I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
