mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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