they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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