i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
