Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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