Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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