He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
