just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
please come you make the beer taste better
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
In America we eat man semen.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
