Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
handjob tips. give me some.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
