He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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