Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
