Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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